You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize