Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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