Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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