If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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