you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
