i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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