Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
