I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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