you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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