is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We need to get me chipped asap
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
