You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
