So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
