All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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