he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
