FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
