The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
