So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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