That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
