Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
