Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
