i will never coherently bang her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
