drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
