Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
