Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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