It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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