I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
