By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
