Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
