i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
