I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
