thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
