I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
