VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
