just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
