I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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