Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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