He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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