No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
