I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
