Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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