btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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