We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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