My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
