No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
