I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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