so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
