were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
