i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
