I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
