Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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