dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
