i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
