Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
