On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
