Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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