The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
