at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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