In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
