I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
