He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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