I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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