His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
