She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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