You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
As shirtless as possible
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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