Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize