I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
