Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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