i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Are we still banned from the library?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
